So, we made it through the holidays. Chase cleaned up on her "Wizard of Oz" items. She got numerous things, from a Glenda that glows 24/7 (thanks Teresa!) to a nice Tinman ornament (thanks Cousin Lauren!). The holidays have always, always meant so much to Chase. She embraced Santa Claus from an early age, although it was at a distance, and she loves Christmas more than any other. Santa was great from a distance, because the very sight of someone dressed as someone else has always terrified her. From Chuckee Cheese to Santa to Mickey Mouse, she has been terrified about who might be behind the costume, but she has also been excited about the possibilities of the characters. She believes that Dorothy went through the storm and that Santa is capable of delivering the presents, and the possibilities that she believes in are the things that keeps the magic alive in our family. It is so much fun to buy for her and to anticipate her reactions to the gifts that she will receive. It makes the season magical. It makes us all believe in the miracle of Christmas.

Now, we embark on a New Year. Chase is going to become an adult, as far as the school system is concerned, and we have to figure out how to navigate through this uncharted territory. It is an uncharted territory that we have to navigate for her, and it is a responsibility that is unprecedented for us. How do you decide your child's path? Parents aren't supposed to have to decide this for their children. Parents are supposed to raise up their children to choose the path that they choose. How are parents supposed to choose that path for them? It is a question that parents of children with disabilities have to ponder. I don't want to choose her path. It has been thrust upon me to choose her path for her. What an awesome responsibility! I don't want for her sisters to be burdened with her path. I want to be able to make her independent of her sisters. How do I do that? Who do I choose to take responsibility for her when her dad and I are gone? Right now, it is her Uncle Andrew and Aunt Laurie. It had been on my side of the family until my mom's death. Then I was able to see that they wouldn't have her best interests at heart, and I would rather her be with family that will love her until the end.

It is a curious thing wondering who will care for your children when you die. You tend to think of people to care for your minor children. It is easy to think of that. That is a finite thing. You die, and someone else will be responsible for your children for maybe ten years. It is a very different thing to think of someone making decisions for your child who will never really grow up. It is a lifetime responsibility. You don't want to pick someone who will put your child into state care. You want someone who will think about what's best for your child, someone who will think about what will make your child happy, someone who will love your child the way you would have loved her.

There are so many questions when you find yourself a parent of a child with a disability. You find that parenthood extends through your whole life, and raising your child to be a productive citizen is only the beginning. Your responsibilities extend far beyond that. Your responsibilities extend to the end of your own life. You have to stare into the face of your own mortality and decide what will be best for your child in the future. It is an awesome responsibility.