So, last night was all bliss with Chase, and this morning she woke up in a funk. Those mornings are the longest...it is only about 45 minutes, but every one of those minutes is felt completely and very slowly. This morning it was a jacket issue. She seems to break zippers frequently, and this one is missing the pull for zipping it up. She decided she couldn't wear that jacket and wanted to wear a hoodie. The only problem with that is that it was 20 degrees out, and she had to have a heavy coat. The minutes began to drag. Then I turned off the lights on the Christmas tree so that we could see the bus pull up out front. That's when I became the "Wicked Witch." (Everything has a Wizard of Oz reference, seeing as she watches it every single day of the year.) I quickly became the "Flying Monkey," a step up from "Wicked Witch" when her spirited display of anger escalated. I don't always handle things well, and this morning I turned into a yelling "Flying Monkey." Forgive me, sweet Chase. We will have a better afternoon.

Well, I have been wrapping presents for the girls, and I have quickly realized that Chase has many more gifts than the other girls. I think that it is because it is so much more fun to see Chase unwrap gifts and to see her delight at each gift...she is so full of joy, especially at this time of the year. She loves the story of Christmas and delights in the lights on the houses, the nativities at the churches...her joy is so wonderful to see and to give all of us a chance to relive it through a child's eye as she does each and every year. I think that is why she has more gifts under the tree. We all delight in seeing her live out the Christmas story each and every year and it gives us all so much joy that it doesn't matter that she has the most gifts, because it gives us so much joy to see her delight in the morning that it is a gift to us just to see her joy. We see the true meaning of Christmas in sharing her joy every year, and it reminds us what is important to remember throughout the rest of the year. Hopefully, it will carry us through the rest of the year, and we will remember her joy until it is time to celebrate Jesus' birth again next year!! Chase reminds us of it the year around, and we need to listen to her all year long.

Well, let me tell you about the big issue in my life right now. I was a teacher for ten years when hubby and I were first married, and now I need to go back to work. Chase is 21 and will age out of the school system this year. I want to start substitute teaching to see if I can get on with the local school district as a teacher. My problem is that Chase can't lock and unlock the door. She is fine at home alone for a short time, but she can't leave the house secure when the bus picks her up. My brilliant idea was to get her sister to send me her garage door opener home from college. She could leave by the garage and not have to lock the door on her way out. Well, she can get out and get on the bus, but four out of five times she accidentally pushes the button when she is putting the opener back in her bag, even though every time I tell her not to do anything with it until the bus turns the corner. So, the house is left open, and I can't trust that it will be secure when I am not there. This is not going to work. I can't leave the house before she does and feel that the house will be secure when the door is up.

My new idea is to have the assistant in her class to pick her up before school and make sure that the door is locked. The garage door opener is going away. We will have to pay her to do this, but she will not have to go to the adult day care center that I've been told is as close to hell on earth as you can get. I will not send my child to such a place. We will soon see if this option is viable.

The things a parent deals with when a child never grows up...something you don't think about when you are pregnant and are thinking about the color to paint the nursery...

Well, I haven't done this before, but I thought I would share some of my experiences. I don't know if anyone will be interested, but my hope is that I will be able to connect with other parents of children with disabilities. Chase was my best pregnancy, but at birth she had trouble breathing. The doctor had given me a medication to stop my labor, and it didn't work. It did, however, make me very groggy. I was scheduled for a c-section on Monday, and I went into labor on Saturday night. It wasn't convenient to deliver her on Saturday night. Hindsight is 20/20, right?

Fastforward to now, and she has been such a blessing. I feel that God gave her to us to show us His love. Through all of the trials and tribulations, and there have been plenty, she has been a blessing. I hope to be able to help others going through some of the same things that we have been through to see their way through to the other side. Tomorrow is always another day, and there is never a dull moment!